THE BOOKEND METHOD

What is the most impactful part of your day?

Hint: it's not the part in the middle.

Confused? I get it!

It seems like the part in the middle is where all of the important stuff happens, right?

It's the part where we work, the part where we do most of our socializing, and the part where we make the most memories!

I might call that middle section the most "productive" or "valuable" part of our day.

But the most impactful part... the beginning and the end. Let me clarify.

How much LESS productive or valuable is your day when you sleep like shit the night before?

How much LESS productive or valuable is your day when you wake up late, chug some coffee, get stuck in traffic and forget to brush your teeth?

We have all had those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days where we got up on the wrong side of the bed and stayed that way, stumbling over each and every bump that the world presents. It's exhausting, frustrating, and by the end of those days you want nothing more than to just go home, put on sweats, skip the shower and binge the newest hit series until we pass out.

The problem is...

if that's how you end your day, you'll probably wake up and have that day all over again. Have you ever been in that rut, where it just feels like you are stuck in a stupid loop but you keep getting more frustrated and more exhausted? At that point, you may stop socializing, stop finding purpose in your work, and end up on autopilot for so long that coming back into your body feels impossible. You may find yourself disengaged, disappointed and discouraged.

Because YOU, my friend, don't have bookends.

A bookend is an essential part of a bookshelf. The important, valuable, juicy stuff is in those books in the middle... but without the bookends to hold them up, they fall off the shelf and start collecting dust.

So what's the most powerful part of your day?

THE BOOKENDS.

EVENING BOOKEND

For some people, it feels really weird (backward, even) to start with the evening. We naturally think that mornings come first/morning is the beginning.

After years of work with people, I really believe that building your evening bookend first is the right way to go about it.

Your bedtime is the first place to start when resetting your circadian rhythm.

The circadian rhythm is your sleep-wake pattern over the course of a 24-hour day. It helps control your daily schedule for sleep and wakefulness. All living things have one. Circadian rhythm is influenced by light and dark, as well as some other factors.

Your brain receives signals based on your environment and activates certain hormones, alters your body temperature, and regulates your metabolism and hormones to keep you alert or draw you to sleep.

Your bedtime doesn't start the moment you put your head in the bed!

Your bedtime actually starts with a "wind down" 30-60 minutes BEFORE you are actually in bed. If you're not doing a wind down yet, now is the time to start!

Your wind down and bed time will consist of 3 main components, but the rest of the ingredients are up to you!

WIND DOWN

ONE

Say goodnight to screens. This component is becoming harder and harder for people. Many people are in the habit of taking their phone to bed with them, having a tv on, watching a screen until their eyes literally can't and then falling asleep with their phone a foot away from their head. Don't feel bad, we've all done this!

But any light - ESPECIALLY the blue light waves emitted from screens - keeps your body from producing the sleep hormone, melatonin. That's a good thing during the day, but at night? Not so much.

If you're someone who needs a little background noise while you fall asleep, try a white noise machine or an audiobook that allows your screen to be dark! You can set a timer for these devices so they shut off after a certain amount of time.

I personally love my pillow speaker - a slender bluetooth speaker that rests under the pillow so I can listen to something as I fall asleep. It's quiet and shuts off automatically, and allows me to keep my phone plugged in, on a shelf, away from the bed at bedtime.

Whatever method you choose, the consensus is that we should say goodnight to screens 45-60 minutes before we hope to be sleeping.

TWO

Don't go to bed hungry or thirsty! You have probably at some point gone to bed a little too full, which is uncomfortable. I bet you have also had the experience of going to bed hungry! Weirdly enough, this is another thing that gets in the way of producing melatonin.

The time we spend sleeping is typically the longest period of fasting we experience - 5-8 hours without food! This is a good time for the body's digestive and metabolic systems to reset. But if you skip dinner or go to bed hungry, this long period of fasting may actually cause your body to go into starvation mode.

This means your body is going to hang onto fat in order to store up for a perceived period of starvation. Moreover, it keeps your body in a more alert state, producing less melatonin, meaning you likely won't spend as long in deep sleep. Not feeling rested? Try a small snack before bed.

Careful, though! Eating too much before bed or foods that are heavy or high in saturated fats and sugar can cause discomfort, bloating, acid reflux, and other digestive issues. It may also cause you to wake for frequent bathroom breaks throughout the night.

Instead, opt for a snack like a serving of pistachios, pumpkin seeds, a banana, cherries, warm oatmeal, or a slice of whole wheat toast.

All of these food items are high in melatonin and are foods that have complex macronutrients that keep our body sated overnight.

Try to get at least 16 oz of water in you during your wind down, but stop drinking water about an hour before bed to avoid night-time bathroom breaks!

THREE

Try mindfulness, journaling, meditation etc! Doing an activity like this is not only helpful in processing the day's information, but will also minimize the time you spend in bed with relentless thoughts.

Many people have a hard time quieting their mind once their head hits the pillow, so before you even get into bed, spend time reflecting, journaling, or whatever helps you "let go" of the day's events!

One helpful tool is called a Brain Dump: literally write down every thought that comes into your head for 5 minutes or until there is nothing left!

This is helpful because once it's down on paper, our mind doesn't feel the need to continue "reminding" us about the embarrassing interaction, or the appointment tomorrow, or the upcoming tasks we have this week. If it's down on paper, somewhere safe and tangible, so our brain can more easily let it go.

If you haven't tried a bedtime meditation before, this is your sign! There are a lot of options online, and many many apps that are geared toward this. One of my favorite methods is just a body scan. While laying in bed, bring your attention to your breath and your body, starting at the toes and slowly working your awareness up to the top of your head. Intentionally focus on relaxing each muscle as you scan up the body.

I like ending nighttime meditations with gratitude: thinking about all of the good things that I have in my life that I am grateful for, however small. Even things like being grateful for your comfortable bed, your pet's presence, or your body's ability to rest!

Those are the three essential components of a wind-down/bedtime routine, but everything else is up to you!

Maybe you want to incorporate some reading, a skin care routine, a bath or shower, or some music. Maybe nighttime is when you take meds, or write down your agenda for the next day!Whatever your routine, decide on your bedtime AND your wind-down start time. Wind down should start at least 30-60 minutes before you hope to be asleep.

If you honor this time consistently for 7 days, you will start training your circadian rhythm to start getting sleepy at the same time each night and you will start waking up in a totally different way!

WHAT’S MY BEDTIME?

I ask people to think of times that they woke up feeling rested without an alarm. How many hours did you sleep? Knowing yourself, how many hours of sleep do you think would be ideal?

Then… what time do you need to wake up to have a productive morning? Start at that time and then count backward.

Example: you need 8.5 hours of sleep and you need to be starting your day at 6:30. Count back 8.5 hours from 6:30 and viola - your bedtime is 10pm. So your wind down routine should start between 9 and 9:30! It should be simple, but it’s sometimes really hard, especially because people often want to use their time after work/at night to do activities that they enjoy.

Just remember: when you get your circadian rhythm right, you will get that time back, because your waking time will be more productive and you will have the energy to utilize free time in a way that is overall more fulfilling! I bet that most of your “free time” now is currently spent in mostly horizontal positions, on your phone or watching tv because you’re too tired to do something that is actually fulfilling.

When you get your Bookends right, this won’t be an issue anymore!

MORNING BOOKEND

You've just woken up after honoring your Evening Bookend (wind-down + bedtime) and now it's time to complete the bookend method and solidify your new routines!

There are a few important methods and tricks to really waking up your body to optimize energy throughout the day.

Fun fact: a solid morning routine is actually proven to improve your overall happiness and decrease stress in your life! It will also boost your energy levels all day long and increase your productivity in general. Safe to say this is a really important part of your day!

Just like bedtime doesn't start when you get into bed, your morning routine doesn't actually start with your first sip coffee! At night time we started practicing a wind-down, so morning time we are starting with the rising ritual!

Rising rituals start when you open your eyes. Let's look at the top three components of rising rituals and morning routines!

RISING RITUALS

ONE

Hopefully it doesn't come as a surprise that this first component is about screens/phones - again! About 80% of smartphone users check their mobile devices within 15 minutes of waking up each morning — and that’s a big problem.

Checking your phone first thing means that the very first experience you have upon waking is getting bombarded with to-dos, notifications, and news. Even if this feels normal to you at this point, it's increasing your stress and anxiety first thing in the morning.

Your thoughts, ideas, and mentality are immediately hijacked by the worries and stressors of the day, on a personal and global level!

Honor and protect the beginning moments of the day - you get to direct where your attention and energy go, but when you hop on the phone, external forces are getting to direct that attention and energy for you. Take it back!

One trick is to put your phone on flight mode. Not "Do Not Disturb" which will still allow notifications to come in overnight, albeit silently. Flight mode suspends those notifications while still allowing functions like alarms on your phone to work.

Another trick for smartphones is to go into your Settings/Screen Time and create a Downtime Schedule - a feature that "blocks" apps or puts them to sleep during specific blocks of time. In order to access those apps during downtime, you will actually have to put in a passcode to override it (meaning you're actively choosing to engage instead of doing so on auto-pilot.)

The next step is to come up with a list of 5 to 7 things that you will always do before engaging with your phone.

Ideally these things include:

drinking water (this will always be my #1!), washing your face/showering/skin care, brushing teeth, 10-30 minutes of movement like yoga or stretching to wake your body, reading, prioritizing your tasks for the day, or making breakfast/drinking coffee.

Wait until you've done all of these things, or about 20-30 minutes, before engaging with screens! I promise you will very quickly notice a different in the flow of your energy as you move through your morning - and the rest of your day.

TWO

Don't skip breakfast. Listen, I get it, not everyone is a breakfast person! For some people, appetite may not be present until later in the day, and I identify as one of those!I'm not saying you need to have a breakfast feast with a full plate. But eating something in the morning is crucial for your body in so many ways!

Remember how we said that night time is the longest period of fasting? Well... breakfast is exactly that: break (the) fast. If we don't break the fasting period, our body stays in starvation mode.

Our body needs glucose for energy. After this period of fasting, our glucose is lowwww. If we don't give our body more glucose to work with, our energy will stay low, too. (And just drinking coffee will not actually help this situation!) Your energy will improve if you eat something, even if it's small - doesn't have to be a full meal!

Eating breakfast also helps manage your hunger throughout the day, which means more mindful food choices and less fluctuation of appetite throughout the day.

Most folks who skip breakfast are either over or under weight, less physically active overall, and have poorer sleep health.

If food sounds impossible first thing in the morning and you can't face it, try to opt for a nutrient dense juice or smoothie that incorporates both fruits and vegetables!

Other breakfast items that get a thumbs up include: oatmeal, whole grain toast, bananas, yogurt, avocado toast, cottage cheese, berries, fruits and of course eggs! Eggs are also a great source of protein which will help in sustaining your energy throughout the day.

THREE

I call this component a FOCUS FIVE or FOCUS FIFTEEN (whichever one makes sense for you!)

Cortisol is the body's "stress hormone" - it's actually not a bad thing but when cortisol isn't directed, it turns straight into anxiety. That heart-fluttery, weird energy that makes you jumpy and generally gives off a negative vibe.

But cortisol is actually important! And in the morning, cortisol is at its peak. This makes sense, as it's basically the opposite of melatonin. It's purpose is to get us alert and ready to face the tasks ahead!

To optimize this natural hormone, we have to FOCUS it. This means every day, it benefits you to sit down for five (or ten) or fifteen minutes and get your priorities straight!

Create a checklist, to-do list, bullet journal or just journal your thoughts and feelings at the beginning of the day!

My FOCUS FIVE is sooo simple and includes three elements.

I start off by doing a PEMS check in. PEMS stands for Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual! I do a quick assessment of how I'm feeling/doing in each of these areas.

Physical: temperature, hunger/fullness, hydration, body aches or pains, feeling healthy or unhealthy, am I sick or am I feeling well, am I feeling strong, rested, tired?

Emotional: actual feeling words go here! for instance, curious, brave, grateful, content, sad, lonely, vulnerable, or more! If you have trouble with feeling words, check out this Feelings Wheel!

Mental: not your thought content but actually the QUALITY of thought - such as mentally foggy vs focused, preoccupied or peaceful, clear vs muddy, etc!

Spiritual: this is not explicitly about spirituality/religion but actually CONNECTION. Ask yourself - am I connected to myself? am I connected to others? am I connected to my purpose? am I connected to my higher power?

(It might seem like a lot, but PEMS should only really take a few minutes after some practice!)

Next, I write a quick to-do list for the day. This is just a list of the “big stuff,” not a to do list that directs every moment but more overarching goals.

Finally, I end with gratitude and affirmations! I write down three things I'm grateful for that day, and three positive affirmations for myself.

This focus time actually takes me FIVE minutes and it helps me be aware of my body, mind and feelings, prioritize the things that need to happen today, and gets me in a mindset of gratitude and positivity!

Whatever you choose to do, a FOCUS FIVE or FIFTEEN will absolutely help you start your day off right.

And that's it! Your Rising Rituals and Morning Routine will set the tone for your day.